Failing Gracefully

This past month has seen a lot of change and disappointment in my life.

Let me explain.

Years ago, I developed a dream that I am passionate about and scared of. That fear has kept me from fully pursuing the idea…up until this past month. Since 2019, I’ve inconsistently implemented parts of the idea in the form of a photo series revolving around abandoned buildings. But the bigger dream, the one that requires me to grow and make sacrifices, has always seemed out of reach.

I’ve kept myself from my dreams because I expect myself to fail at them even before starting.

However, through therapy, I’ve come to recognize some of my self-fulfilling prophecies, limiting beliefs, and fears holding me back from my future. Which has led me to make an offer on two different properties in the past two weeks…and they were both turned down.

The reason I am currently pursuing purchasing a property is a tale to be told in full very soon, but it involves a dream. A dream so much bigger than I am that it terrifies me and excites me all at once. I’ve spent so long cowering away from it and doing the bare minimum to bring it into existence.

Not any more.

The world deserves to have and see what I have to offer. A dream is no good unless it is pursued with passion and dedication and often a level of sacrifice. If I’d experienced the level of disappointment I have through losing two of the most beautiful properties just a few months ago, I would be crushed. I would give up and determine that this dream was just too big to tackle.

But not today. Not this time.

The disappointment is real. I feel the loss of those two properties deeply, but I’m not going to roll over and give up. Failure is not defeat. Defeat is giving up, or worse, not even trying.

Failure is a necessary step towards success.

Have I learned that lesson perfectly? Definitely not. I still struggle with failure, but I know now that my dreams are more important to me than the failure. Any disappointment is a heartfelt reminder of how important my dreams are and it’s encouragement to get up and never give up.

You’re not defeated. I believe in you and know that you are strong enough to try again.