Dear April
Letters written to you Dear Correspondent as a glimpse into my life through the month of April.
Dear Correspondent - April 4th, 2024
The wind ceased immediately.
Almost as soon as March was over the wind died.
It’s something I’ve had to get used to as a native Okie living in a southern and a lot less windy state. There’s just something about the Oklahoma wind that is so consistent and comforting. You know it will almost always be there so when it’s not you know something is off.
The thing about where I live is that wind is unusual. It’s hardly ever windy here. Except in March. Our windy month. Each year almost on the dot the wind picks up and blows away at the frail trees that are unused to such a gail force.
And then it’s gone. Blown away by its own strength into some other distant part of the world.
Stillness settles in and the trees stop dancing and I wonder what’s missing all over again. No matter how many years I’ve been here and away from that gusty Oklahoma wind, I’m still not used to the stillness. The world should be alive and dancing in the breeze. It should be gently (and at times forcefully) caressing your cheek with the touch of familiarity.
But it blows away and leaves me wanting…staring at the high tree boughs trying to catch a glimpse of the breeze dancing amongst the tallest leaves and sticks.
It’s interesting how different the trees here react to the wind. They creak and groan and with every wind storm more than one inevitably gives way and comes tumbling to the ground. Might strong trees, brought to their knees by a single gust of wind.
Unheard of in Oklahoma. The trees (what few we have) grow at an angle. They lean into the wind and stand strong against its force.
There’s something to be said about growing up in the face of adversity. It creaks within you a force of character that is not easily bent by a passing wind.
April 8th, 2024
The eclipse.
The second I’ve witnessed in my life. The thrill of rushing away from work and to my sister's house to watch it with my mom and sister. I didn’t find any of those fancy (and cheap) eclipse glasses. I looked. Today.
Not a lot of forethought on my part.
Everywhere I went was sold out. Which isn’t surprising since the solar eclipse is happening today. But it’s still stunning to know so many different people from all walks of life are all going to be staring up at the sky at the exact same time watching the exact same thing.
How beautiful.
We could only see glimpses of the eclipse through the clouds. I thought we might not be able to see it at all. But at just the right time, the clouds thinned and with my naked eyes I caught a glimpse of the stunning spectacle.
Light meeting dark.
The moon blocking out the sun that usually reflects off of it by night. How special.
April 18th, 2024
I sit in an unfamiliar place to me. I know the house, but have not yet spent so much time here in its confines.
Pet Sitting has a variety of challenges and joys. The responsibility of watching animals not your own, the joy of having a house to yourself, the unusual settings and getting used to a new space. It’s interesting how different a space can be from what you’re normally used to.
I may only be across the street from my own house, but being alone in such an uninterrupted way is freeing. I’ve been looking at open submissions all day long. Dreaming of furthering my photography and always struggling against myself to actually do it and make it happen. I want to create more and put my work out into the world in such a way that makes a professional path forward.
My days are spent struggling to do the things that I don’t want to do. Oh to be a full time artist and entrepreneur. Doing exactly what I dream of doing. Traveling for art. Establishing community. Creating.
One day. Soon. Once I get out of my own way. That’s when I’ll be able to finally make it as an artist.
April 21st, 2024
I found another one. Another beautiful, beautiful building in need of saving.
This one is exceptionally quirky. Designed and built by a local artist in 1935 in the Art Moderne style that was going around at the time. It’s small, peaceful, and located so very far away which is unfortunate.
But I get the same feeling about it that I’ve gotten about the two I made offers on last year. Same may call it love. Dear me, I’ve fallen in love with a building again. Any business minded individual would shake their head and say “are you mad?!” and in the famous words of Captain Jack Sparrow: Thank goodness, if I wasn’t this would probably never work.
Falling in love is always a dangerous game to plan no matter what it is you’re falling in love with. A person, an animal, a house, a car. Falling in love and giving your heart to something other means there is a possibility that you’re going to get hurt.
I’ve been hurt before. I know what it feels like.
Sooner or later it’s going to work, though. And when it does it’s going to make up for all the heartache and trouble that’s been experienced up until that point.
Love can lead to loss, but it can also lead to so many incredible possibilities.
That’s what I’m hoping for…possibilities.
Until Next Time,
Lillian Merritt
