Day 335: Confident Choices
One of the things that I hate the most about this life are decisions. Not the little ones you make every single day like "what am I going to eat for breakfast?" or "I wonder what movie I should watch...". The kind of decisions I hate are the ones that plague you for weeks, that are never easy, and keep you up late at night because you can't stop thinking about them.
If you are human, there has been at least one decision like this in your life at some point. It happens to all of us because we live intricate and complicated lives in a world that is always changing and filled with unknowns. Decisions are everywhere and these tend to rise out of nowhere and can haunt you for the longest time.
We can get so stuck in this back and forth thinking because each way has its pros and cons. That's what is keeping us stuck in place, isn't it? The uncertainty of any direction being the truly right direction to go in because each way is so different. Sometimes it's choosing between two good things and dealing with the fear of missing out on an amazing opportunity. Sometimes it's choosing between two bad things and dealing with the question of which is the lesser of two evils.
Other times it's can be a little less black and white. You're choosing between something a little more neutral and vague. More like choosing between ideal or values or situations. Decisions are never completely transparent which is why we end up in this loop of confusion and so, so many "I don't know"'s mixed in with every thought and conversation.
One second you lean one way and the next the other. You just desperately want someone else to make the choice for you, but then you consider the other option more depending on which option the many people you ask thought they would go with. Nothing sits comfortably with your gut and it plagues your thoughts night and day.
Those types of decision are the worst and are so hard to make your way through. I'm wrestling with a decision such as this and have been doing so for the past twenty-two days. It rages in your mind night and day, and in every conversation it find it's way to the surface. Yet, to be completely honest, I don't honestly know how to deal with such big decisions.
If you're here looking for the answer, trust me I am too and there isn't an easy one. There will always be downsides to either side of the choice and often you will have consequences you never expected later on down the line. It's a risk you have to take in order to live your life the way you truly want to live it.
The choice is yours and while that is the most unhelpful advice anyone has ever shared, it's completely true. No one can make the decision for you and that's good because it's your life. Try not to struggle with the decision too much and in the end you will do your best with the consequences and blessings you are facing. Ask friends, think about it, sleep on it, write it out, and in the end make up your mind and be confident in your choice.
Until Next Time,
Lillian Merritt
