Day 5: Emotions We Conceal

Do not deny the feelings and emotions that are stirring in your heart. If they are present, they are meant to be felt for their entire duration however long that may be. Emotions exist to make life vibrant and to remind us that we are alive.

Today these words seem to stand out to me in a way that is incredibly personal as well as deeply meant to be shared with others. There is not a day that goes by that we do not experience an array of emotions ranging from ones considered positive to those considered negative.

Emotions are daily reminders that we are alive and experiencing life. We, as humans, feel something. and sometimes we wish we did not.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you sense your emotions and desire them not to be there? We can often come to this conclusion with feelings such as fear, anxiety, sadness, and anger. We perceive these "negative" emotions are signs of weakness and we strive to bury them deep inside to appear composed.

We can do the same thing with emotions generally considered to be positive. There is this sense of duty resting upon our shoulders that keeps us from showing too much emotion because it can make us appear weak and vulnerable. So when we are filled with an emotion, whatever it may be, we shove it down and find our composure.

From personal experience, I know how easy it can be to participate in this. It is almost easier to not feel certain things than to feel an emotion fully. It is hard to live life followed by overwhelming feelings that can often be composed of a complex array of emotions. There is a touch of hope mixed with disappointment, fear with love, sadness with anger, and hesitation with joy.

There is something so beautifully complex about human emotions. They are not tangible yet we feel them so deeply. They create this intense fire within us and still we cannot see them with our eyes. They are there, yet there is no physical proof of their existence. Maybe it is because of this lack of tangibility that we try to bury them. Others cannot see them and so in that case they are really not there.

What a faulty lie to tell ourselves. Emotions are real and they have a deep and lasting effect on us, especially when we bury them.

Burying an emotion does not remove it from our being, it simply covers it up for a time. Oh how good we can get at covering things us. So good that we can trick ourselves into thinking we have removed the emotions. Our mind will eventually begin to believe the lies we tell it and if we are constantly telling it that we do not feel a certain way our mind will begin believing it. However, the emotion is still there.

We cannot simply wish away an emotion whenever we want it to be gone. If we could, I imagine we would never be sad, lonely, angry, etc. No, we can only push them under the rug and pretend they are not there. When we do this enough we can be left so incredibly numb.

The harsh reality is that buried emotions have a way of growing and festering until they cannot be ignored any longer. What we do not want to feel grows from the lack of being felt. Emotions are meant to be felt and when we push them away we fail to process their full implication. When they do surface again they often surface stronger and more consuming than before.

When we feel a certain way we are being completely and one hundred percent human.

Emotions are part of life. Without feelings, life would be such a lonely and boring path to walk down. They keep us focused on the here and now and remind us of the things we consider important. Burying emotions does not do us any favors and in the long run we suffer because of it. Because we are human we have feelings.

Having learned this the hard way, I want to encourage you to feel everything deeply and feel it now. It can be hard to do this when we have spent so long burying everything and when the world looks down upon vulnerability. However, we were created with feelings and we were created to experience them in all their colors.

Right here right now make a decision to feel. Allow your emotions to impact you and touch you deeply. It is okay to cry because it all becomes too much. It is okay to let out a scream when the pressure rises inside. It is okay to retreat to the quiet when the anxiety overpowers us. And it is okay to love even when you know it will hurt.

Emotions are here to keep us experiencing life in all its complex beauty. Does that mean we may feel sad sometimes? Absolutely. Does that mean we might get lonely? Angry? Fearful? Yes to all. It might be painful to feel these things, yet I can assure you it is so much better to feel them in the present than when they come back after being buried.

When you are feeling something take a step back and remember to ask why. Why are you feeling these emotions? What is the reason behind it all? Often times that is far more important than the emotion itself. Focus on the why and allow the emotions to be felt for their due course. They will not last forever, but while they do it is important to feel each one.

And so in closing I want to leave you with the opening words I shared...

Do not deny the feelings and emotions that are stirring in your heart.
If they are present, they are meant to be felt for their entire duration.

Until Next Time,
Lillian Merritt