Beauty In Not Knowing

It’s okay to not know.

It is completely human to see your situation and to feel as if everything is spinning out of control. We are all desperate for some fraction of control. Desperate for a sense of security, no matter how false it is.

We are desperate creatures filled with so many unknowns. So many worries and concerns fill our minds from second to second. Our minds reel as the world around us reels, both suffering from the illusion that we must know what is going to happen.

All of us are constantly asking “what will happen next?” The truth is, we will never be able to tell. The future is a mystery clothed in shade, keeping us from being able to predict even our next breath. This creates chaos and confusion. We begin to feel out of control, there are too many unknowns, too many feelings and thoughts we are unable to translate. When words come to mind they consist of the phrase “I don’t know” over and over again.

I don’t know what is coming next. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t know…and I am beginning to understand that it’s okay to not know.

It’s okay to question the direction you’re going. It’s okay to wonder what’s behind the thick veil of shadow that hangs in front of you. It’s okay to be confused and unsure of what step to take next. It’s even okay to be scared of not knowing. It’s human, we’re human, and how beautiful it is to be that way.

Not knowing is part of life. We cannot control every second of every day. We do not know what is coming next and how exciting that is. For it is the confusion and the chaos that constantly remind us that we are alive and that we are breathing. It’s the unknown that keeps us searching for the understanding. It’s the call of the unknown that keeps us moving always forward.

So if you feel as if you don’t know, take a deep breath. Hold it for a second and relax into this unknown. What comes will come in due time, life must be lived not rushed. There is a difference between panicking in the fear of not knowing and releasing the need to know. Have you come to understand that difference yet?

I know I am still learning.

Until Next Time,
Lillian Merritt

Self-portrait, November 2020, 1 of 3

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