How often in your life have you said “no” for another person? We as individuals have a tendency to ask ourselves a lot of questions that should really be directed towards others and then answer for them, even though not a single word has passed between us and this other person.
When we say no for another person it usually comes in thoughts of “Oh they wouldn’t want…”, “I would be bothering them if I asked…”, or “They couldn’t possibly…”. All of these such thoughts are putting words in the mouths of others who haven’t opened theirs to speak.
In life, most things are accomplished with the help of others. Business, classes, relationships, etc. Everything is successful if we are able to work well with others and build up bonds with clients, teachers, friends, etc. Without these key elements in life, we will not go very far by ourselves. So it is safe to say we will need to ask or invite people into our deals in order to help us continue our journey forward.
We must make asks in a variety of sizes. Some will be tiny and easy to make others will be huge and have major effects on our lives if answered in the correct way. We all face these asks, but our problem is that we tend to answer these asks without ever making them. Our mind thinks through all the possibilities and usually makes a negative decision for the other person.
We have no idea what the other person will say and it’s best if we leave the answer to them. However, insecurities, fear, anxiety all get in the way of actually asking the question. Our fear of rejection trumps our desire for the answer and therefore we never ask the question and never give the other person the opportunity to say yes.
Rejection is hard of course, but our desire to see something come about in our lives should be far bigger than our fear of being turned down. Allow the other person the opportunity to say yes to you. It’s all about asking and seeing where it will lead. Their response may even surprise you and you never would have found out if you didn’t ask.
Ask the big questions and allow the other person to say no for themselves, or better yet to say yes when you would have said no for them.
Until Next Time,