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Day 234: An Honest Look At Quarantine

One thing I have really been thinking about recently is the fact that the coronavirus is coming to an end and the stay at home order will soon be lifted. This is incredible and I’m so glad we’re taking the right steps back towards freedom, but it has gotten me thinking a lot about the time I have been given.

It has officially been sixty days since I began this journey of staying at home and I could probably count the times I’ve gone out in public on one hand. It has definitely been a journey filled with fluctuating emotions and moods. Not ever day has been fantastic and not every day has been horrible, overall I have really enjoyed spending so much time at home with such small responsibilities.

As the quarantine is ending, I’m trying to accept the fact that eventually normal life is going to resume and I’ve been really taking a honest look at what I’ve been doing with all my time. Have I wasted most of this opportunity? Or have I really taken advantage of it all? It’s a really hard question to answer because there’s been so much time, one thousand four hundred and forty hours to be exact (so far), in this quarantine.

Overall yes I think I was pretty productive. I’ve created fifteen pieces of art (more than I ever created in 2019), I haven’t missed a day of blog posts, I’ve emailed several galleries, and have taken some personal time to just read in nature. My morning routine happened almost every morning and I’ve read numerous books in entirety, plus my presence on social media has gotten better.

But on the other hand I’ve gotten completely out of wack with my sleep schedule and have gotten used to staying up way too late. I’ve spent far too much time on my phone just scrolling and go wrapped up in binge watching a tv show for a few days. Exercise has not been going well and my diet hasn’t been the best in the entire world. There are days where I’ve wasted them completely and felt incredibly guilty about every second of them.

All in all I’ve had incredible days and terrible ones. My emotions have been all over the place ranging from boss lady ready to conquer the world and super depressed artist with no motivation. If you were to tell me how you felt during this time, I have a feeling it would be pretty much the same thing. Productivity mixed with laziness and a whole slew of other emotions has been the case for pretty much every day.

It has been a crazy ride, but I want to remind you as well as myself to give yourself some grace. This has been a completely new situation that none of us have ever faced and there was no guidebook for how to handle a world-wide pandemic. And because of that we have handled it to the best of our ability. Just because some of our time was wasted does not mean we misused this opportunity.

Overall it has been an experience of growth and a test of resilience. I pray that we never have to face anything like this again, but if we do, we will be 100x better prepared than this time. Life is full of unknown experiences that will be thrown at us from left field and the only thing anyone can ask for if your best. If you did your best, even if that was sitting inside all day avoiding everything, you accomplished something and we can celebrate that.

This period of time will leave a huge impact on all of us that we might not realize quite yet, it effected the world and because of that there will be lasting side effects. I look forward to seeing all the good that will come from this, I know for sure that I’ve changed a ton during this time and am excited to see the person I become because of it. I know that is wasn’t the easiest time in the world, but I’m learning to give myself some grace because I truly believe I did my best. My best wasn’t amazing all the time and there were days that kind of failed, but over all given the circumstances I did alright and I know you did too.

We will all be reeling from this for quite some time, many of us have faced incredible hardships that will last for a long longer than the virus and my heart goes out to you. This time has not been wasted and I challenge you to not waste the time that is to come. Just because we were given this opportunity of experiencing so much time on our hands, does not mean we lose time in the future. It only means we will allow things to take us time and when they do, really look closely at them and try to determine in they deserve that must time again.

The future is a completely new place and we have all the time in the world to make it into the future we desire to see come true. What will you be doing with the time of transitioning back into the world? I would also encourage you, when you’re ready, to throw a sort of celebration for surviving a global pandemic. It doesn’t have to be a huge affair, but arrange for a day to be dedicated to celebrating the freedom that comes with it being over and the world returning to normal.

Until Next Time,
Lillian Merritt

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